you're behind my eyelids when I'm all alone.
My name is Lindsey, I'm 15 years old. I struggle with bipolar disorder, self-harm, disordered eating, and symptoms of a personality disorder. This blog is my journal for all the things I can't say out loud. Calorie(s) I DO NOT PROMOTE EATING DISORDERS OR SELF-HARM.
I hate when people try to act like one eating disorder is more “superior” to another.
Anorexia is not any “better” than bulimia. Bulimia is not any “better” than Binge Eating Disorder. EDNOS is not “less serious” than any other disorder. And the same applies to the less heard of disorders - Orthorexia, Bigorexia, etc., etc.
An eating disorder is an eating disorder, no matter what the name. If you struggle with ANY type of disordered eating, you are suffering and you deserve help and support. Comparing disorders or making one seem more “severe” than another is just ignorant and triggering to so many people. Stop it.
what shade is your hair? :)
It changes constantly because I use multiple different hair dyes. Most recently though I used L’oreal “Very Rich Auburn.” But a couple days ago I ordered a color called Red Passion online, and it’s supposed to be here by Friday. I’m going for the strikingly red color that Emily from UK Skins has. :)
It’s my sisters 13th birthday today
My family is here and they’re celebrating downstairs and eating pizza and cake while I’m doing “homework” alone in my room. I went down there a couple of minutes ago to socialize a bit so my mom wouldn’t bitch about me hiding upstairs, then I got a plate and a slice of sausage pizza and a cheese stick and went back into my room. I immediately threw the pizza out my bedroom window and took about two bites of the cheese stick and then threw that out too. Went back downstairs later, popped some light popcorn and filled a cup with diet orange soda, then went back upstairs again. I’m eating the popcorn now.
At first I just wanted to binge and purge slices of pizza but I was afraid my family would hear me downstairs. What a disaster that would be. Even though I’m 99% sure that my parents know about my eating disorder by now but aren’t doing anything about it. I’m positive my dad does, because he found 4 bags of vomit hidden in my closet a couple months ago. He didn’t confront me but I know it was him, and I know he knows. My mom probably does too but she’s ignoring it because she hates me and doesn’t really care.
- person: you're skinny
- me: well you just cured my eating disorder! HALLELUJAH!
